I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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