Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
