she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
