Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
