And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
