Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
