Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
