i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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