Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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