North Korea, Best Korea!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
