the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
she looked like the before picture.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
