I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
