WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
