At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
