So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Your penis caused this!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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