Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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