Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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