if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
