I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Randomize
