Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize