i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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