whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
