Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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