I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
