I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I need moral support for this bender
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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