I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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