There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
