I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
do herpes really smell.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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