dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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