i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
