Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize