handjob tips. give me some.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she peed on how many people?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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