Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
