We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
