your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize