i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
