Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
