end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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