worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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