The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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