To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
