Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
