I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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