I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
