I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
