therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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