it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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