R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize