Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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