Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
