So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
