can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize