Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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