Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Can I color on your dick again?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
