If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
