I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
