I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize