Jerry, you need to find god
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
