she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
